Divorce is the breakup of the family unit.  Unless there is domestic violence, sexual abuse, brutality or torture, incest or some other heinous acts of child abuse, then the breakup is going to rip the heart out of the child.

The physical act of living somewhere else is often traumatic for the child.  Add to it all the misery fighting parents can create and the child is not only abandoned but also further traumatized by one or both parents.  These acts of mental torture can continue for years.

Verbal Abuse of Absent Parent

• When both parents are immature, the child hears derogatory comments about the child's loved one from both sides
• Parents talk bad about the other parent to the child
• Child hates hearing the put downs about loved one
• Child knows that money and expensive presents are to cover the guilt
• Child learns to manipulate parent, especially when parent is using drugs
• Child is acutely aware of the behavior changes when a parent is using drugs
• Parents fight to make each other miserable but the one who suffers the most is the child who loves them both

Child Support

• Stopped paying support and Mom complains to child
• Money is very tight without support and pressure is felt by child
• Chjiold is blamed for not receiving child support
• Siblings or step siblings hold it against the child
• Child is forced to call parent and ask for money
• Child support is not paid so non-custodial can afford to take child on expensive vacation, along with self, new family too!

Visitation

• Custodial parent refused visitation
• Parent voluntarily stopped visitation
• Parent remarried and won't exercise visitation rights
• Parents fight over visitation
• When child visits they are left with a baby sitter
• Step parent or most recent person they are dating is the child care giver
• Police action to enforce visitation rights

During Visitation

• Takes child to work and makes them sit still
• Never plans alone time with just the two of them
• Never just goes to the park or for a walk or talk about the future
• Never takes time to visit
• Non-custodial parent is boozing all the time
• Non-custodial parent hides from child because of hard drug use
• Non-custodial parent is at the bar all the time
• Non-custodial parent leaves visiting child with sitter

Child Used as Weapon

• Every issue leads to an argument
• One parent is a control freak
• Non-custodial parental kidnap of child
• Relentless, ongoing custody battles over every little issue
• Court appearances
• Psychiatrists interviews
• Doctors exams
• Accusations of child sexual abuse
• Attorney interviews with child
• Court appointed attorney for child
• Child bought with expensive presents and vacations