Happy Meanness describes hurtful teasing that cuts deep.  It is seemingly a lighthearted joke or Teasing in a seemingly lighthearted or fun manner but that is hurtful to the recipient. Hurtful teasing that stings but is made to seem like a harmless joke.

• "You have the great sense of humor of all fat kids."
• All the "just kidding" comments said following truly hurtful words.
• Flippant comments: "You are much better off now that your dead beat dad is gone."
• Any words that hurt deeply.
• Repeating stories that embarrass or humiliate the child
• Humor that hurts.
• Wounds to a child's soul.
• Meanness not disguised as person is frowning.
• Meanness disguised because person is smiling.

The judgment of whether or not something is classified as Happy Meanness rests not on the giver but on the intended target.

Parents are often the Happy Meanness provider by entertaining their friends with embarrassing moments of their child.  Telling personal stories over and over may seem cute to the parents but is humiliating and embarrassing for the child.

The best way for a child to handle this situation is to describe to the parent how it makes them feel and then ask them to stop sharing the child's experiences with other people.