The Healing Process

Healing Process

The Healing Process

Last Updated on Thursday, 31 December 2009 23:51 Written by Sue Wednesday, 18 November 2009 23:40

Identify Triggers of Fear

Of the dark, time of year, holidays, people, places, events, celebrations.

What is the Root of this Fear?

As yourself honestly why you are afraid?
What happened to you at that time that caused you to be so afraid?
Who caused you to be afraid?
Is your fear of a place or a person, or both?
This is the time you may continue to deny anything happened. But for fear to be expressed, there is an underlying cause.

Acknowledge Untold Secrets

To help organize your thoughts, you may use this form here but it takes a minute to load. List the age (if known) as memories surface.
It may take a few minutes, months or years before you can detail your life. Be patient and accept that healing sometimes is a very slow process.
It comes in stages as you get stronger

Release the Secret

Name it.
Give the pain you are holding inside a voice.
Say it out loud. "Incest" or "Sexual Abuse" or "Battered Child" or "Child Abandonment"
Name all the hurts, both physical and mental.

Tell Someone

Face it. Tell your story to someone you trust.
If you have no one to talk to, write it down on paper. Take your time and make it as detailed as you remember.
Many times there are multiple pains, by one person or multiple abusers. Name all your abusers and what each one did to you. This may take a long time as multiple abusers are revealed to you. It isn't that you don't remember some things , but less traumatic events were pushed aside as more grievous events took place. Admitting your family wasn't perfect is OK to talk about
You may have a sibling that also experienced the same trauma. Seek them out for companion healing.
After you have told someone or written your timeline, you may save them or burn them.

Reject all Guilt and Blame

Perpetrators of child violence heap tons of guilt and blame on an innocent child
Children accept guilt and blame because their minds are undeveloped
Children's minds are not fully developed and therefore lack reasoning skills
Reject all guilt and blame; lay it on the shoulders of the perpetrator

Let Go of the Pain

Let all those suppressed emotions come out.
Rant, rave, cry buckets of tears. Cry buckets and buckets of tears.
Get angry! Hit a pillow with a stick. Rage. Let go of all the emotions you have suppressed.
The events may have ruined the first part of your life but the last part, from now on, will be much better. You will grow and heal
You will develop a modified version of who you were supposed to be. This painful process takes time but will give you strength. Be patient.

Freedom from Addictions

Once you tell your secrets to someone, they no longer hold power over you.
The perpetrator no longer has power over you.
There is not reason to mask shame and pain with chemicals.

Heal

Once free from the fog of addictions,
The first thing that will change from the gray and black world you have been walking in.
You will notice vibrant earth colors. Embrace them.
Life, in general, will begin to have clarity. A new path open that you should follow.
Healing is an ongoing process which eventually will change into exploring.

Exploring

You may find, as a result of early childhood name calling and labeling, you believed what you heard. It may have been so devastating you shut down, believing the hurtful words. After healing you realize you were not those things. In doing so it will open up a whole new world in which you embrace learning.
Consider finishing your formal education where ever you left off. (Either right away or later when you gain more confidence)
If you struggled in school begin reading interesting books
Take community college classes (Keep them fun and easy in order to build success)
Enroll in college or trade school
Check out books from the library
If you were a good student and learning was easy for you, jump in! Go for higher education degrees.

Empowerment

Empowerment presents in many forms
Become a speaker for children's rights
Develop national policy for perpetrators of child sexual violations
Change child abuse laws
Speak before Congress
Make a movie about your trauma
Write a book about healing from childhood trauma
Create a website
Educate the public on children trauma
The more you give outside yourself, the more you heal

Granted, early childhood trauma forever alters you from who you were born to be; on the other hand, consider past experience only a detour to reach your human self.

If addiction still controls your life, check out http://www.gentlesobriety.com

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