Last Updated on Sunday, June 06 2010 17:04 Written by Sue
Incest is the most common of all shame-secret sexual traumas, due to the unquestioned accessibility a family member, and extended family members have to young children.
Complicating the matter are parents or family members who are registered sex offenders and other family members who are in prison for sex offenses against children (pedophile).
Child sexual abuse, brutality and torture are against the law. Perpetrators will go to great lengths to protect themselves from discovery to avoid prosecution. They will use every method necessary to maintain secrecy; blaming the child, using shame, threats against pets and family members. The point is to instill a deep fear of exposure. Once the child is brainwashed to accept responsibility for a felony crime against their body, the perp is free to groom and abuse others.
As long as the secret is kept, the child must spend precious mental energy keeping the memories suppressed. Only then is the secret safe.
There is side effects in keeping secrets. They rob energy from a growing child. Instead of freely absorbing and learning, a sexually abused child can't concentrate in school. Learning becomes difficult or impossible. When a child discovers alcohol or other drugs, they will feel normal for the first time in their life. Chemicals mask fear and numb shame. The child will return frequently to what gives them comfort which is the foundation for all addictions.
Secrets also prevent healing. The child will remain frozen at the emotional age when the trauma took place and become a chi-ult, a child in an adult body, unable to mature.
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