Saturday, February 17, 2018

Shame-Secret Trauma

Shame-Secret Trauma is any illegal act which a child is forced to keep secret. It may include family privacy issues.

One example is domestic violence.  Another is family member alcohol or drug addiction.  More serious examples are parents in prison, foster care, child abandonment.  Every family has secrets they would rather not have the public know about however an illegal act, such as child sexual contact or family violence is against the law and very damaging to the mind of a child.

Being a witness to violence against a loved one, such as see their mother beaten, is a shame-secret trauma that has serious consequences for a child's mind.  During school the child may be so worried their mother is suffering further abuse that the child can't concentrate.  Their school grades may suffer from trying to keep the secret at the same time deal with the stress.

Sometimes a child is forced to participate in harming a loved one or pet. 

Secrets do not allow healing.  The untreated trauma festers in the child's heart and and pierces his/her soul.

Secrets produce helplessness and a feeling of hopelessness.  This not make for a strong child, able to problem solve or look to the future.

Child abuse, brutality or torture is a commonly kept secret.   Now that violent family members (bread winners)  are often prosecuted for these crimes, many families keep this trauma secret from the rest of society.  The burden of keeping secrets are placed on the child's shoulders.  It is too heavy a burden for a child to carry.  Not only does the child suffer the trauma of pain and injury, but they are futher burdened with keeping their pain secret from school officials and neighbors.


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